Please pray for my youngest son who's going through a lot right now. He's about to be 35 years old and my be losing his job today because of not being able to have a babysitter while the kids weren't in school. Her mentally unstable 17 year old daughter can't be left alone with them. They are aged four and six. They are also too much to handle for our 11-year-old autistic grandson. His wife has a job but in reality it was only to escape trying to be a mother and to fuel her drug addiction and dependency on opiates. He just now said that when he told her he thinks he just lost his job today she did not seem to care in the lease. Her own mother decided this year she just didn't feel like babysitting anymore because she wasn't getting paid. I babysat them last year but I have a broken hand, I broke my foot last week trying to get to the bedroom where my husband is on hospice, and had a severe case of colitis which almost landed me in the hospital about a month ago. I was diagnosed with breast cancer only a few days after my husband was sent home on hospice and it's been one thing after another so I haven't been in any kind of decent mental state or been physically able to be there for my son and my grandchildren like I should have been. He's had to take so many days off I think they're talking to him about letting him go for not being able to be at the office often enough. Even though they've expressed their understanding of his situations, one of the bosses isn't taking it the same. He has been treated like a piece of garbage by his family his wife his children for this entire last year. I have found him in tears over just how hard he works and how badly he is disrespected and disregarded. He loves his wife and children very dearly. But she has her mental challenges, with chemical dependency, depression, among other things she either goes to work or sleeps all day. Everything in between has disappeared almost completely. Our youngest son who I'm praying for is utterly and completely out of loss for what to do about all of these things. I'm upset with myself because I couldn't be everything I wished I could be to help. I'm upset with her that she hasn't been able to get some kind of drug rehabilitation and still keep her job and act like a mother sometimes when she's able. Please pray for everyone and everything going on with our family. I want so much to see some happiness and satisfaction with life in my children's faces. I don't know how much longer I have. I've ignored my breast cancer diagnosed completely because of my husband's health and my own injuries and depression with anxiety just making me either completely useless, crying, or raging mad alternating. Please pray that things start going their way. One after another thing with cars breaking down and other major expenses coming left and right without a single fragment of hope for the future at the moment. I called my youngest son who lives right next door sometime just after midnight last night. I was panicked. I have laid down next to my husband to rest and after a time of listening to him breathing with his COPD getting worse every passing moment. When his breathing just stopped for about 30 seconds. It restarted on its own. I got up and noticed his oxygen cannula wasn't in his nose and he was laying in a way that he was snoring and and his respiratory tract has just become so deteriorated that it doesn't take much to go into respiratory distress or failure. He is 77 and how's the DNR in place, hospice nurses visiting, hospice person that comes to give him a sponge bath in bed, and medications to help keep him comfortable, etc. As much as I thought about when his time would come when God would call him home, I wouldn't fight to keep him here. That's the hospice way I suppose. Comfort. Ease of transition. Accepting that there's an end to everyone's life and he's been suffering for so long with so much pain and struggling. But when that moment came and he stopped breathing for a minute or so, I realized I would probably always panic, that acceptance and letting go and all of that mumbo jumbo will never be in my reach. We've been married 52 years but haven't been close for decades. I have so much anger after learning so many things about him and the fact that I've grown up and I'm no longer the child bride that was only 15 years old when he was 23 and I got talked into marrying him even though I wasn't feeling that way toward him at all. Please pray that only the best outcomes for everyone will prevail, that in our old age and ill health our children can at least have happy lives with their children, good health, and he will be able to keep his job and she will be able to get help or overcome her addiction, that our children will feel loved more than anything. That they will feeling appreciated and that I will be able to feel some form of competence and confidence at being a mother and grandmother again. I might not ever feel any kind of typical way a wife would feel for a husband, but pray I can at least not be angry and resentful and bitter all the time because it's making me a very mean person. My husband's brain, I guess the doctor explained it mostly the hypothalamus stops functioning and dementia which is something he also suffers with, and it leads him to be constantly hungry even after eating and during eating and day and night 24 hours a day he feels hungry and repeats it and repeats it and repeats it continuously. It's making me want to drive off a cliff. He has completely unaware that I have a broken foot and a broken hand and I'm mentally struggling because with him that way, I can't walk next door to even help with our grandchildren and now our son could be losing his job because of it. I used to complain because he would eat everything we had and I would have to go hungry because the stores would be closed. Now, he can't even do that anymore he just keeps asking me to get him something to eat, or just states the fact that he's hungry repeatedly with expectations in his demeanor. I can't cope with the fact that the only rest for me is when the Lord takes him home and that is horrifically sad in itself. But I can't jump up and scratch his back and rub his back and prepare him food and make him warm and make him cold, and fix his discomfort and all of the things he repeats over and over. He tries to be nice about it and if I ask him how he's doing he always says fine. Then the minute I walk out of the room to sit down, the repeating and moaning and groaning and everything restarts again.