Please pray my son forgives me for being upset and understands why certain subjects trigger some really painful memories and feelings from my own childhood. I was abandoned at age 4 and whenever I feel like that might happen to anyone else I love, I lose my sanity. I literally let out a primal scream like a scalded newborn a little while ago. It even scares me when it happens because I have no control over it. I'm sure it's terrifying and traumatic for anyone else to see and hear. I want my son to realize what abandonment did to me, and he only has to remember his own dad abandoning him at age 10 on his birthday. Please pray my son will understand why I react the way I do because my entire life nothing else mattered more than children having both parents in their lives to me. There were no limits to what I would have done to make that happen to all of the children of all ages that I've loved and protected from those feelings. I have actually scared myself more than once.